Tuesday, September 15, 2009
ECONOMIC STIMULUS 101
CREDIT TO GOLDMELTER FOR THE ARTICLE Subject: Economic Stimulus 101 > > Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive an Economic > > Stimulus payment. This is a very exciting new program. > > > > I will explain it using the Q and A format: > > > > Q. What is an Economic Stimulus payment? > > > > A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. > > > > Q. Where will the government get this money? > > > > A. From taxpayers. > > > > Q. So the government is giving me back my own money? > > > > A. Only a smidgen. > > > > Q. What is the purpose of this payment? > > > > A. The plan is that you will use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. > > > > Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? > > > > A. Shut up. > > > > Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the US > > economy by spending your stimulus check > > wisely: > > > > > > If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart, the money will > > go to China . > > > > If you spend it on gasoline, your money will go to the Arabs. > > > > If you purchase a computer, it will go to India . > > > > If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,Honduras and > > Guatemala .. > > > > If you buy a car, it will go to Japan . > > > > If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan . > > > > If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go > > to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore. > > > > Instead, keep the money in America by: > > > > 1 spending it at yard sales > > > > 2 going to ball games > > > > 3 spending it on prostitutes > > > > 4 beer > > > > 5 tattoos. > > (These are the only American businesses still operating in the US .) > > > > I'm going to go to a ball game with a tattooed > > prostitute that I met at a yard sale and we're going to > > drink beer all day! > > > > FUN TIMES!