THE MOGAMBO GURU SAYS "GAAAAAAH"

FROM THE DAILY RECKONING JAN 20, 2009 A WORLD OF FINANCIAL FREELOADERS by The Mogambo Guru I was reading Doug Noland's Credit Bubble Bulletin at PrudentBear.com and I gulped in surprise and fear as he quotes Market News International as reporting that "The Congressional Budget Office said Wednesday that the fiscal year 2009 deficit will be $1.186 trillion" which, as bad as it looks, is actually on the low side of projections! Yikes! Even more horrifically, I have seen other people calculating that the budget deficit will range upwards to $2 trillion, and maybe more. Maybe much more! I say this because I thought I had become a hardened veteran of the government and the Federal Reserve acting like morons, and I had bravely resigned myself to the collapse that such idiocy deserved. As a result, I had a swagger in my step and a sneer in my voice to prove it, but now, this prospect of a multi-trillion dollar budget deficit caused me to have a little "accident" in my pants at the news that the federal budget, which was already scheduled to be $3 trillion before any of this stuff happened, is now going to have a deficit of trillions of dollars, all in an economy that is only about $13 trillion! Gaaaahhhh! I am freaking out here! I keep thinking to myself that this is so Freaking Much Money (FMM) that it would only cost $2 trillion to give $10,000 in cash to every one of the 200 million adults in the whole damned country! Gaaahhhhh! I seem to remember, and police reports confirm, that this horrific news sent me screaming into the night, shouting not only, "Gaaaahhhh!" but also, "We're freaking doomed, you morons! Buy gold and protect yourselves from Mother Nature's Backlash (MNB) against your constantly acting stupid by electing spendthrift, promise-them-everything morons to government office, who have allowed the Federal Reserve to create so much money and credit to accommodate government deficit-spending that that government has now spent you into debtor's hell to support a government So Freaking Huge (SFH) that the total of government spending constitutes half - half! - of all spending in the freaking country! Half!" Somewhere around 52nd Avenue I am heard saying, "And you have spent yourself to a debtor's hell as well, you morons, by buying your own debt to fund your own stupid retirement plans, which is akin to trying to make money by eating one's own, ummm, poop, you morons!!" Fortunately, I calmed down before the police could actually arrive and catch me in the act of disturbing the peace or actually making threats against my neighbor who is so stupid that he will not buy gold, no matter what I do, or even shut up long enough to listen to me when I am trying to politely explain to him what a moron he is for not doing as I tell him. And the reason that I calmed down was because I suddenly thought to myself, "Whoa! I sure as hell could use $10,000 for myself, and a nice $20,000 for being married; filing jointly for a wad of lovely, lovely cash would be lovely, too!" And then, as another benefit of giving money to people, I thought of older people who've had their damned grown children move "back home" to live with them, all crammed into the one house, sometimes dragging their kids along; but if you kick them out to live in their stupid car like they deserve, even offering to let them use the garden hose outback to clean up, everybody yells at me and calls me names, like I did something wrong! But with a $20,000 windfall between them, you would feel vindicated, and indeed righteous, to kick them the hell out of your house! "Get lost, parasites!" Hahahaha! Sweet! But apparently the "shocking" quality of this $1.186 trillion budget deficit has given the CBO a sudden clairvoyance, because they figure that the budget deficit will, somehow (they don't explain how, or why), "decline to $703 billion in FY10", which I mention only because I thought I could turn it into some scathing sarcasm of some kind before I lost interest in it, but, then again, a $703 billion budget deficit is still nothing to sneeze at! Even so, the article goes on, "The CBO report almost certainly understates the severity of the nation's fiscal woes", because. "For example, the CBO report does not account for the emerging fiscal stimulus bill that may cost more than $800 billion over two years" which brings us up to a budget deficit of $1.98 trillion! And while you are gasping for breath at the horror of it all, it certainly does not even take into account the inevitable hundreds of billions of dollars in "supplemental appropriations" that Congress routinely authorizes all year, every year, and which in the last 12 months amounted to more than an incredible $1.4 trillion dollars of additional public debt, and which now stands at the unbelievable sum of $10.635 trillion, in an economy that is only $13 trillion, where now these weenies are proposing to borrow and spend another $2 trillion freaking dollars! Gaaahhh! We are so freaking doomed! Those who are paranoid enough, smart enough or lucky enough to be sitting on piles of gold, silver and oil are no doubt sitting cool right about now, while those who are not similarly paranoid enough or well-stocked with gold, silver and oil must be going freaking nuts and their hearts are hammering boom, boom, boom as they watch their own destruction approaching. And as a guy who has some of all three, I say, "Whee! This investing stuff is easy!" Until next time, The Mogambo Guru for The Daily Reckoning