FROM MARKET WATCH THIS MORNING 2/19/09

ciscokid New US stock market terminology. > CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer. > > CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer. > > BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investor > to mistake > himself for a financial genius. > > BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no > allowance, the > wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex. > > VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower. > > > P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their > pants as the market > keeps crashing. > > BROKER -- What my broker has made me. > > STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell. > > STOCK ANALYST -- idiot who just downgraded your stock. > > STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your > assets equally > between themselves. > > FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been > disconnected. > > MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks. > > CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears > down the toilet. > > > INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who's now > locked up in a nuthouse. > > PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use.